Midterm Exams

September 6, 2005

It’s Tuesday. Four “exhilirating” (?) exams down. Three more and it’s all over.

I am so tired. Do you have an idea how many Gatorade bottles have I collected? Oh, don’t ask now, you should have a clear idea of the answer already…

Why Gatorade? Caffeine, from coffee, gives about a lot of side effects to my body, aside from the expected nervousness. Besides that, I feel drained everytime the stimulating effect starts warding off. I always feel I couldn’t do anything.

Anyway, I felt that my blog site has been almost left out this week. It makes me sad to see no new post, when the fact is I have a lot of thoughts pacing on my head that I really wanted to write down here, or type, that is. But, I have these exams to prioritize. As much as I would like to post, I also do not want my remarks to be printed red just because I listened on my niggling instinct to write here..

I am just tired now, and I’m sleepy..nevertheless, it is worth the while to write something here to ease all my stress…they say when you do something you love, you’ll be fine, and you could do more. I hope that’s true.

I wish this week was over. Oh, how I wish for that!

Maybe I’ll say something about how the exams went next week..now’s not really appropriate.

8/16/05-17:44

another so so day

After Econ was not worth reminiscing— for an hour atleast. The clouds were nimbus on the sky, any moment rain would sprinkle on the part of the earth where I was standing. And I didn’t have any umbrella with me. Sucks.

If only I could, I would not have tasked myself to walk towards sa dulo ng walang hanggan, where I thought of then, was the Post Office. Literally, it is located at the far end of what we call Pueblo, which is quite okay and justifiable, except for the fact that the school, where I was at that moment, stands on the opposite end. And I had to walk towards it with my heeled black shoes, my filled black bag, and the letter I should hand down to the manager of the bureau.

But before all that, I was hungry. Really really really hungry. I could feel the acid slowly burning my little imperfect stomach. The pain was distracting me, nevertheless I still had focus. Even so, during my Econ class, I could already hear it “muttering”.

So it was about to rain and I had no shield; there was a long road ahead waiting for me to traverse on; with all of those I felt I had no energy left to sustain me, because I was terribly, painfully, craving for food.

I passed by a car whose windows were glass tinted with silver. I saw my lips, already white with hunger.

I walked though, and not later, there were drizzles falling on my head, my arms, my bag, my clothes. I had to protect the letter from getting wet. So I had no choice but to let the droplets of rain fall freely on me. It was not a good feeling as it strangely made me more hungry. My head was already throbbing with pain. And no one was with me, a fact which makes me feel worse. Were they ever there, my groupmates, walking with me, the rain would have been nothing at all. Atleast we were many.

I was asked by a personnel, who was kind enough to accept me, to go back the next day with the edited letter. Funny enough, the supposed manager did not exist. There was the director, and I had to replace the recipient name and address for him to accept it.

Afterwards, I treated myself, and rewarded myself, for being good..hehehe..I bought some food and dined alone, with lax and comfort. I did not hesitate to pick what I really want to eat - my favorite TLC burger with fries (oh fries!) and strawberry sundae.

I went out of Jollibee full. I saw myself in the mirror and first saw my already red lips..hehe..I looked much better than the past hour. The rain had miraculously stopped before it had the opportunity to completely wet the ground. I went back to school refreshed, and although I still feel sad about being alone, I chose to just forget that such a miserable hour ever passed on my day, or my life for that matter.

8/8/05-22:46

May Day Eve

It’s 11:07 - I should be asleep - but I wanted to read something so I consulted my Lit course outline, saw May Day Eve and browsed the net for some online copies. And then I read through, and then done — very nice, very Filipino, very beautiful story…Similar to Nicholas Sparks’ The Notebook, because even though they were past teenage and adulthood, they were still in love with each other -madly in love- denying it a bit, but deep inside they were needing each other, the memories of the past would make them weep. Wow. I was deeply carried away by how Nick Joaquin designed the story. It was simple yet the words make it really really romantic…between the lines you could read real love. The scenes were so dramatic and almost genuine, your imaginations could capture them easily. I was touched with how the bowed old man sobbed so bitterly at the window; the tears streaming down his cheeks and with the wind in his hair and one hand pressed to his mouth..he was crying for his woman, grieving. Do you imagine how it must feel being so loved, that memories could make him tear, make him long for you - back again ?..I wish I will be loved that way too…

7/20/05 8:32am

stress week